"Never say 'no' to adventures. Always say 'yes', otherwise you will live a very dull life."
- Ian Fleming
Welcome to my blog, where I will try to capture the great adventure that is my life. After graduating college and working for 2 years as a lifeguard and swim instructor (a job I didn't need to pay a hundred thousand dollars for a degree to do), I decided to go back to school. I'm now pursuing a Masters in Health Communication, which required I move to Boston. I'm loving this journey in a new city, the beautiful people I'm meeting every day, and the life lessons I'm learning along the way!
Happy Labor Day! Lets celebrate this holiday by thinking and talking about all of the important work done in the labor movement and standing in solidarity with those still fighting for these basic human rights!
This was the first year of my life I actually thought to research what Labor Day was actually about, other than sales everywhere. I’m glad I learned a bit of history, and this post just tops it all off!
At first I was really impressed that Toys R Us has a category on their website for toys for “differently abled kids,” complete with different skill set categories. But then I realized they probably don’t know what this means. Yes, karaoke machines and a color-changing ipod dock *make* sounds, but they do not enhance auditory *skills*. And please explain to me how “Strawberry Shortcake Best Doll Collection” or a kids’ wagon built for 2 will enhance “social skills.” Is it because there are multiple dolls and you have to pretend they are talking to each other? Is it because if there’s another person in the wagon with you, chances are you will build social skills by talking to them? No, incorrect, nice try Toys R Us.
How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
I’m not sure I want to have kids, but I really want to raise a daughter (or son) by following all the things above, because I want to be responsible for there being at least one excellent human in the universe.
Most guys do not have to deal with the world of women. They’re born from us, they live around us, but for the most part, we take care of our own shit. We buy our own tampons. We deal with skeevy guys who catcall us. We deal with crappier work situations. We deal with getting told we suck at things because we have a vagina, and that we need to be prettier. […]
Then, they had daughters. […]
The girl goes to school, and you watch how she’s never called on. You hear someone insult someone else by calling them ‘a girl’, and it stings. Your little girl is awesome! She’s brave and smart and funny! Why would anyone use that as an insult? Then, you remember all the times you did it.
And then, you realize that, all along, you’ve been a part of the problem.
It’s like when a man has a daughter he suddenly wakes up and realizes, “Oh my God, boys out there are going to treat my daughter the way I used to treat girls”. That’s why men are so protective of their daughters. They know how awful boys are because they acted the same exact way. And instead of teaching your sons not to be assholes, you hide your daughters away.